1. Monster Mash! Pull out the potato masher!
2. A Sprinkle A Day… Let them sprinkle herbs or other seasonings onto vegetables.
3. Stir & Spice. Make applesauce from fresh apples. Let them help stir and add the cinnamon.
4. Peel & Slice. Older children can peel and slice carrots, cucumbers, potatoes … the list goes on!
5. Measure Up! Let them measure the frozen vegetables before cooking them. See How Much You Need
6. Tear It Up! Let them tear the lettuce for salads and sandwiches.
7. I Spy. Play “I Spy” in the Produce section when grocery shopping.
8. Make It Snappy! Let them snap the green beans, snap peas, or break the flowerets from the broccoli or cauliflower.
9. Pick A Peck!  When shopping, let them select a new fruit or vegetable to try … or several!
10. Mean Green Cleaning Machine. Let them wash fruits and vegetables when preparing for cooking or eating.
    
    

Getting Children To Eat Right. How to Get Children to Make Healthy Food Choices and Keep Fit
© Lin Burress

Getting children to eat right and make healthy food choices is often a struggle, leaving parents feeling bewildered as to how to get children to eat right and keep fit.

Getting children to eat right and make healthy food choices - habits that will last into adulthood - is often a struggle for parents. Enticing fast-food restaurants and television commercials targeting children with high-calorie and high-fat foods often leave parents feeling bewildered as to how to get children to eat right. By carefully following these five tips, along with having a determination and focus on a healthy viewpoint about food, parents can help ensure their children will grow up healthy and fit.

Set the Right Example
Children learn what they live, making it vital that parents set the right example with their own food choices. If parents are routinely eating and snacking on unhealthy foods, how can children be expected to do any differently? Setting the right example to get children to eat right requires parental self-discipline. Parents need to provide loving and firm guidance in making healthy and wise choices regarding food and snacks.

Remember the Five Food Groups
Studies on nutrition show that parents who consume a healthy portion of foods from the five food groups (fruits, vegetables, grains, meat and other proteins, and dairy products) on a daily basis are much more likely to get children to make better food choices and greatly reduce the chances of developing obesity and many other health risks. Remembering to introduce foods from the five food groups at an early age helps develop their taste for healthy foods rather than a taste for salty or sugary treats.

Choose Healthy Snacks
Choose healthy snacks for children such as low-fat yogurt, low-fat cheese, fresh fruits and vegetables with tasty dips. Keep healthy snacks well stocked at home, readily available and easily accessible for children to grab. Save cookies and other sugarcoated treats for an occasional sweet treat or special occasions. Never get into the habit of giving children cookies or other sugary-treats when the family meal is being prepared or is almost ready to be served. Consider offering a couple of bites of the vegetables or salad already planned for the meal to tide them over.

Children Need Exercise
Children need to be moving their bodies and be getting the right amount of exercise regularly. Schedule family walks after mealtime or family outings to the park where children can run and jump, rather than spending hours idling in front of the television set or playing video games. Arrange for children to participate in after-school activities such as baseball, basketball or tennis where children can learn that exercise can also be fun.

Provide Necessary Discipline
Children typically do not like changes being made to their routines, so expect children to express their dislike to newly implemented changes in the family meal plan. Calmly explain that “this is what we’re having for dinner”, and if children adamantly refuse to eat the planned meal, simply cover it and save it for when they say they’re hungry. Remember, your home is not a cafeteria-style restaurant where children dictate what they will or will not eat. When the child later says they’re hungry, simply say “Well that’s good because I saved your dinner for you”, and then reheat as needed.

National 5 A Day Week has an important goal, getting people to eat 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Meeting this goal will help you stay within the Food Guide Pyramid guidelines of eating 3-5 servings of vegetables and 2-4 servings of fruit.

But how do you get kids to eat more fruits and vegetables, especially when they may only want to eat chicken nuggets and french fries and you are not supposed to force kids to 'clean their plate' or make meals a power struggle?

It can help to start early, offering your toddler lots of different types of foods and letting them see you eat and enjoy a variety of foods, especially fruits and vegetables. Although infants often get a lot of fruit and vegetable baby foods, once they start eating table food, what you eat is going to be a big influence on what your kids like to eat. If you rarely serve vegetables with meals or eat fruit, don't be surprised if your kids develop the same tastes.

According to one study1, 'children's food preferences and food-intake patterns may be shaped largely by the foods parents choose to make available to children and persistence in presenting a food that initially is rejected.'

So offer your toddler and preschool age child a lot of different foods, even if he is neophobic, or quick to reject new foods, as it can help him learn to like a variety of foods. Remember that 'if children have repeated opportunities to sample new foods, then at least some of them will be accepted.' That may mean that you have to offer a small tablespoon size portion of green beans 10-15 times before your child will even try it.

The above study also found that 'picky eaters were breastfed for fewer than 6 months,' so breastfeeding for longer than 6 months may have the additional benefit of preventing kids from being picky eaters.

What if you didn't teach your toddler to eat a lot of fruits and vegetables? Is it too late?

Probably. Another report2 has shown that the 'number of foods kids like does not change much from the age of two or three to age eight' and that 'new foods are often more likely accepted at age two to four than at four to eight.'

That doesn't mean that it is too late to get your older kids to eat more fruits and vegetables, but rather that they won't do it on their own and that you are going to have to work at it.
5 A Day for Kids

One trick that often works for both fruits and vegetables is to find foods that your kids already like to eat, like smoothies, muffins, yogurt, etc., and find recipes that allow you to add fruits or vegetables to them, like banana or zucchini muffins.

The easiest way to get some fruit into your child is to switch from soda and fruit drinks to 100% fruit juice. Although eating whole fruit is better because it also has fiber, 4-6 oz of 100% fruit juice for children 1-6 years old and 8-12 ounces for older children is an easy way to 'eat' 1-2 servings of fruit.

Remember that fruit snacks, even those made with 'real' fruit, fruit drinks and other snacks with artificial fruit don't count as a serving of fruit.

Other helpful tips might be to:
    * Let your kids pick the fruits they want to eat when you go shopping
    * Mix fruit pieces in with yogurt or serve them with a dip
    * Make fruit smoothies
    * Offer a fruit salad, with a mix of watermelon, grapes, strawberries, etc. as a dessert or snack
    * Make a snack mix with raisins, nuts and cereal
    * Add chopped fruit, especially berries and bananas, to your child's cereal
    * Try dried fruits
    * Mix in some chopped fruit with jell-o

Fruit isn't usually the big problem though. Getting kids to eat their veggies is usually the bigger challenge.

Creative ways to get your kids to eat more vegetables can include camouflaging them in with other foods, like chopping up and mixing vegetables in with pasta sauces, lasagna, casseroles, soup, chili, omelets, etc. or adding veggie toppings to pizza. You can even find recipes for things like banana raisin pancakes, carrot beef meatballs or zucchini cookies that your kids might enjoy.

It might also help to:
    * Offer chopped veggies with a dip, like ranch dressing
    * Serve vegetables as a stir-fry
    * Let your child help prepare the meal
    * Start a vegetable garden at home so your kids can eat the vegetables they grow or visit a farm or farmer's market.

What about popcorn? Although often thought of as a grain, it is really just popped corn, which is a vegetable, right? Maybe. But popcorn is usually thought of as a starch or grain and doesn't count as a serving of vegetables.

Getting kids to eat well, and especially eat fruits and vegetables is a challenge for many parents. To help prevent your child from becoming a picky eater, you should:
    * Start early by offering a large variety of foods to your toddler
    * Make mealtimes fun and don't try to force your kids to eat things they don't want
    * Look for creative ways to offer your kids fruits and vegetables

If all else fails, consider offering a multi-vitamin and talk to your Pediatrician.

It can also help to learn about the serving sizes of fruits and vegetables so that your expectations aren't too high. For toddlers, a serving of vegetables may be as small as a tablespoon per year of age and a 1/2 piece of fresh fruit. Older kids should eat 1 whole fruit, 1/2 cup of cooked vegetables or 1 cup of raw vegetables to count as a serving.

Health
Breathing for Beginners

Sure it’s automatic, but you can harness breathing’s power for some surprising results.

In cities all over the world, people are learning how to inhale and exhale in a way that supposedly relieves stress, enhances creativity, combats insomnia, reduces aggression, and lifts depression. Here are three ways to benefit from what you need to do anyway. (Hint: You do need to inhale.) Practice daily for best results.

1. Going deep
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions, belly breathing can help. Place your hands on your stomach as you slowly inhale, and imagine it’s a big balloon that’s slowly filling with air. As you slowly exhale, make sure your abdomen stays relaxed. Take at least two or three more slow and deep breaths, keeping your focus on the rise and fall of your belly. Repeat 3 to 5 times.

2. Pause for relief
When your chest feels tight, a well-timed sigh can help you loosen up, draw in more oxygen, and go with the flow. Breathe in slowly through your nose. Exhale deeply, also through the nose, letting out a heavy sigh as the air rushes out of your lungs. Repeat 8 to 12 times whenever you feel the need to calm yourself.

3. Energize
This animated breathing exercise can invigorate your circulation and nervous system. Stand in a relaxed posture, with arms at your sides. Raise your arms in front of you, palms facing up. Breathe in while slowly moving your hands toward your shoulders, gradually contracting them into fists by the time they reach your shoulders. Unfold your arms as you exhale slowly, opening your hands as the last bit of breath escapes. Repeat 3 to 5 times, going faster each time.

Health
How to Beat Burnout by Diane Mapes

Even the Energizer bunny needs to recharge now and again. When your battery runs low, try one of these creative pick-me-ups.

Taking an occasional mental-health day off from work is a terrific way to bounce back from ordinary stress and fatigue. But a frequent need for recovery days might be a sign of serious burnout. Although you may be tempted to ignore the symptoms, don’t. Burnout not only takes a psychological toll on women, but also puts them at greater risk for developing inflammation-related diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and stroke.

How do you know you’re suffering from burnout? Low energy, snarkiness toward co-workers, that sinking feeling every time your alarm clock rings—these are some of the classic symptoms. (For others, see “Do You Need To Break Away?” below).

If these signs sound all too familiar, a one-day break may not be enough. Finding other ways to chill out or rev up could be just what you need to get your head back into the game. Try using your summer getaway to re-think your work situation and make plans for a happier, more energetic future. Here are four ideas.

1. Take a “My Favorite Things” break. Fill your vacation with activities you find truly relaxing and rejuvenating; go on a hike, for instance, alone or with your family in tow. Schedule lunches to reconnect with friends; talking with pals and loved ones may help muss out the cause of your burnout. Is it the people, the hours, the pressure? The answer just might bubble up while you’re antiquing with your mom. Whatever you do, though, stay in town. “Flying somewhere to hang out on a beach provides a change of scenery, but it may not be the best way to reflect on your life,” says Julie Jansen, career coach and author of You Want Me to Work With Who? Eleven Keys to a Stress-Free, Satisfying and Successful Work Life.

2. Spend time helping others. If your burnout is more about ennui than exhaustion, shake things up a bit. Use your break to rescue turtles in Costa Rica. Or track desert elephants in Namibia. Or help rebuild trails in the Northern Cascades. A volunteer vacation can leave you feeling inspired and fulfilled. Most volunteers work from 1 to 3 weeks. And costs will vary (from less than $500 a week to more than $2,000), depending upon the location. You can book yours through Volunteer Adventures, Globe Aware, Global Volunteers, or the American Hiking Society.

3. Take a veggie vacation. Staying at home for a few days and simply vegging out might be just what you need. Think about it: When’s the last time you woke up and had absolutely nothing on your agenda? Why not send the kids off to camp for a week, inform your mate that you’re off duty, and just be. Read a book (or three). Go to the movies. Hire a housekeeper and spend the day at a spa. Do nothing until you can no longer stand doing nothing. Then let your mind wander until you come up with creative ways to make long-term changes that will banish your burnout for good.

4. Try out your dream job. Maybe you’re burned out because you’re unhappy with your career choice—you’re a marketing director but you’ve always dreamed of being a professional matchmaker, for example. Why not use some vacation time to test-drive a new career? Author Katy McColl’s Should I Do What I Love? features “How I Did It” interviews with dozens of creative pros, from clothing designers to wedding planners to DJs. Her tip for burned-out worker bees: Spend a few days shadowing someone who’s doing a job you’d like to try. “Shadowing is the best way to find out if the work, in fact, suits you,” McColl says. “Having performed various jobs and shadowed people in others as a reporter, I know I can do anything … except touch a stranger’s scalp, which is why you’ll never find me working at Supercuts.” But don’t spend 40 hours a week of your vacation on informational interviews and updating your resume, Jansen warns. “It’s got to be a rejuvenating mix.”

Do you need to break away?
Burnout is usually associated with stress on the job, but its source can be any overwhelming aspect of your life. Fortunately, the signs of burnout are easy to recognize—once you know what to look for. Some of the common symptoms are listed here. If at least three from the top category or any from the bottom apply to you, it may be time to take a recharging time-out.

On your own time, or anytime
– Feelings of dread, depression, or anxiety about having to go to work
– Lackadaisical, apathetic attitude, even toward things you once cared about
– Ignoring or snapping at people you care about
– Feeling helpless, frustrated, and disillusioned
– Difficulty sleeping
– Increased alcohol consumption
– Forgetfulness

Good nutrition and a balanced diet help kids grow up healthy. Whether you have a toddler or a teen, here are five of the best strategies to improve nutrition and encourage smart eating habits:

   1. Have regular family meals.
   2. Serve a variety of healthy foods and snacks.
   3. Be a role model by eating healthy yourself.
   4. Avoid battles over food.
   5. Involve kids in the process.

But it's not easy to take these steps when everyone is juggling busy schedules and convenience food, such as fast food, is so readily available.

Here are some ways to incorporate all five strategies into your routine.
Family Meals

Family meals are a comforting ritual for both parents and kids. Children like the predictability of family meals and parents get a chance to catch up with their kids. Kids who take part in regular family meals are also:
    * More likely to eat fruits, vegetables, and grains
    * Less likely to snack on unhealthy foods
    * Less likely to smoke, use marijuana, or drink alcohol

In addition, family meals offer the chance to introduce your child to new foods and to act as a role model for healthy eating.

Teens may turn up their noses at the prospect of a family meal — not surprising because they're trying to establish independence. Yet studies find that teens still want their parents' advice and counsel, so use mealtime as a chance to reconnect. Also, consider trying these strategies:
    * Allow your teen to invite a friend to dinner.
    * Involve your teen in meal planning and preparation.
    * Keep mealtime calm and congenial — no lectures or arguing.

What counts as a family meal? Any time you and your family eat together — whether it's takeout food or a home-cooked meal with all the trimmings. Strive for nutritious food and a time when everyone can be there. This may mean eating dinner a little later to accommodate a child who's at sports practice. It can also mean setting aside time on the weekends, such as Sunday brunch, when it may be more convenient to gather as a group.
Stocking Up on Healthy Foods

Kids, especially younger ones, will eat mostly what's available at home. That's why it's important to control the supply lines — the foods that you serve for meals and have on hand for snacks. Follow these basic guidelines:

    * Work fruits and vegetables into the daily routine, aiming for the goal of at least five servings a day. Be sure you serve fruit or vegetables at every meal.
    * Make it easy for your child to choose healthy snacks by keeping fruits and vegetables on hand and ready to eat. Other good snacks include low-fat yogurt, peanut butter and celery, or whole-grain crackers and cheese.
    * Serve lean meats and other good sources of protein, such as fish, eggs, beans, and nuts.
    * Choose whole-grain breads and cereals so kids get more fiber.
    * Limit fat intake by avoiding deep-fried foods and choosing healthier cooking methods, such as broiling, grilling, roasting, and steaming. Choose low-fat or nonfat dairy products.
    * Limit fast food and other low-nutrient snacks, such as chips and candy. But don't completely ban favorite snacks from your home. Instead, make them "once-in-a-while" foods, so kids don't feel deprived.
    * Limit sugary drinks, such as soda and fruit-flavored drinks. Serve water and low-fat milk instead.

How to Be a Role Model

The best way for you to encourage healthy eating is to eat well yourself. Kids will follow the lead of the adults they see every day. By eating fruits and vegetables and not overindulging in the less nutritious stuff, you'll be sending the right message.

Another way to be a good role model is to limit portions and not overeat. Talk about your feelings of fullness, especially with younger children. You might say, "This is delicious, but I'm full, so I'm going to stop eating." Similarly, parents who are always dieting or complaining about their bodies may foster these same negative feelings in their kids. Try to keep a positive approach about food.
Don't Battle Over Food

It's easy for food to become a source of conflict. Well-intentioned parents might find themselves bargaining or bribing kids so they eat the healthy food in front of them. A better strategy is to give kids some control, but to also limit the kind of foods available at home.

Kids should decide if they're hungry, what they will eat from the foods served, and when they're full. Parents control which foods are available to the child, both at mealtime and between meals. Here are some guidelines to follow:
    * Establish a predictable schedule of meals and snacks. It's OK to choose not to eat when both parents and kids know when to expect the next meal or snack.
    * Don't force kids to clean their plates. Doing so teaches kids to override feelings of fullness.
    * Don't bribe or reward kids with food. Avoid using dessert as the prize for eating the meal.
    * Don't use food as a way of showing love. When you want to show love, give kids a hug, some of your time, or praise.

Get Kids Involved

Most kids will enjoy deciding what to make for dinner. Talk to them about making choices and planning a balanced meal. Some might even want to help shop for ingredients and prepare the meal. At the store, teach kids to check out food labels to begin understanding what to look for.

In the kitchen, select age-appropriate tasks so your child can play a part without getting injured or feeling overwhelmed. And at the end of the meal, don't forget to praise the chef.

School lunches can be another learning lesson for kids. More important, if you can get them thinking about what they eat for lunch, you might be able to help them make positive changes. Brainstorm about what kinds of foods they'd like for lunch or go to the grocery store to shop together for healthy, packable foods.

There's another important reason why kids should be involved: It can help prepare them to make good decisions on their own about the foods they want to eat. That's not to say that your child will suddenly want a salad instead of french fries, but the mealtime habits you help create now can lead to a lifetime of healthier choices.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
Date reviewed: November 2007

If you've ever watched young children on a playground, you know that most are naturally physically active and love to move around. But what you might not realize is that climbing to the top of a slide or swinging from the monkey bars can be a child's first steps toward a lifetime of being active.

As kids get older, it can be a challenge for them to get the amount of activity they need every day. Reasons abound: the increasing demands of school, a feeling among some kids that they aren't good at sports, a lack of active role models, and busy working families.

And even if kids have the time and the inclination to be active, parents may not feel comfortable letting them freely roam the neighborhood as kids once did. So their opportunities might be limited. Despite these barriers, though, parents can instill a love of activity and help kids fit it into their everyday routines. Doing so can establish healthy patterns that will last through the years, even into adulthood.
Benefits of Being Active

When kids are active, their bodies can do the things they want and need them to do. Why? Because regular exercise provides these benefits:
    * Strong muscles and bones
    * Weight control
    * Decreased risk of developing type 2 diabetes
    * Better sleep
    * A better outlook on life

Not only that. Healthy, physically active students are more likely to be academically motivated, alert, and successful. And physical competence builds self-esteem at every age.
What Motivates Kids?

So there's a lot to gain through regular physical activity, but how do you encourage kids to do it? The three keys are:
   1. Choosing the right activities for a child's age: If you don't, the child may be bored or frustrated.
   2. Giving a child plenty of opportunity to be active: Kids need parents to make activity easy by providing equipment and taking them to playgrounds and other active spots.
   3. Keeping the focus on fun: Kids won't do something they don't enjoy.

When kids enjoy an activity, they want to do more of it. Practicing a skill — whether it's swimming or riding a tricycle — improves a child's abilities. The child feels accomplished, especially when the effort is praised. These good feelings often make the child want to continue the activity and even try others.

What's Age-Appropriate Activity?

The best way for kids to get physical activity is by incorporating regular exercise into their daily routine. Toddlers to teens need at least 60 minutes on most (preferably all) days. This can include free play at home, active time at school, and participation in classes or organized sports.

Here's some age-based advice:

Although some sports leagues may be open to children as young as 4, organized and team sports are not recommended until a child is a little older. Preschoolers can't understand complex rules and often lack the attention span, skills, and coordination needed to play sports. Instead of learning to play a sport, preschoolers should work on fundamental skills.

School-age: With school-age kids spending more time on sedentary pursuits like watching TV and playing computer games, the challenge for parents is to help them find physical activities they enjoy and feel successful doing. Activities can range from traditional sports like baseball and basketball to scouting, camping, hiking, and other outdoor pursuits.

In the early school age years, while kids are learning basic skills and simple rules, there may be only a few athletic standouts. As kids get older, differences in ability and personality become more apparent. Commitment and interest level often go along with ability, which is why it's important to find an activity that's right for your child. Schedules start getting busy during these years, but don't forget to set aside some time for free play.

Teenagers: Teens have a wide array of choices when it comes to being active — from school sports to after-school interests, such as yoga or skateboarding. With teenagers, it's important to remember that physical activity must be planned and often has to be sandwiched between various responsibilities and commitments.

Do what you can to make it easy for your teen to exercise by providing transportation and the necessary gear or equipment. And don't overlook workout clothes. In some cases, the right clothes and shoes might help a shy teen feel comfortable biking or going to the gym.
Your Child's Fitness Personality

In addition to your child's age, it's important for parents to understand a child's fitness personality. Personality traits, genetics, and athletic ability combine to influence a child's attitude toward participation in sports and other physical activities, particularly as they get older. Which of these three types best describes your child?

The nonathlete: This child may lack athletic ability, interest in physical activity, or both.

The casual athlete: This child is interested in being active but isn't a star player and is at risk of getting discouraged in a competitive athletic environment.

The athlete: This child has athletic ability, is committed to a sport or activity, and likely to ramp up practice time and intensity of competition.

If you understand the concepts of temperament and fitness types, you'll be better able to help your child find the right activities and get enough exercise — and find enjoyment in physical activity. Some children will want to pursue excellence in a sport, while others may be perfectly happy and fit just being casual participants.

The athlete, for instance, will want to be on the basketball team, while the casual athlete may just enjoy shooting hoops in the playground or on the driveway. The nonathlete is likely to need a parent's help and encouragement to get and stay physically active. That's why it's important to encourage kids to remain active even through they aren't top performers.

Whatever your child's fitness personality, remember that all kids can be physically fit. Your positive attitude will help the kid who's reluctant to exercise. Be active yourself and support your child's interests. If you start this early enough, your child will come to regard activity as a normal — and fun — part of your family's everyday routine.

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD

What Is Good Sportsmanship?

Good sportsmanship occurs when teammates, opponents, coaches, and officials treat each other with respect. Kids learn the basics of sportsmanship from the adults in their lives, especially their parents and their coaches. Kids who see adults behaving in a sportsmanlike way gradually come to understand that the real winners in sports are those who know how to persevere and to behave with dignity — whether they win or lose a game.

Parents can help their kids understand that good sportsmanship includes both small gestures and heroic efforts. It starts with something as simple as shaking hands with opponents before a game and includes acknowledging good plays made by others and accepting bad calls gracefully. Displaying good sportsmanship isn't always easy: It can be tough to congratulate the opposing team after losing a close or important game. But the kids who learn how to do it will benefit in many ways.

Kids who bully or taunt others on the playing field aren't likely to change their behavior when in the classroom or in social situations. In the same way, a child who practices good sportsmanship is likely to carry the respect and appreciation of other people into every other aspect of life.
Good Sports Are Winners

Ask first or second graders who won a game, and they may answer, "I think it was a tie." It's likely the question isn't of any real interest at that age. Kids may be more eager to talk about the hits they got or the catches they almost made. But as they move into older and more competitive leagues, kids become more focused on winning. They often forget to have fun. Without constant reminders and good examples, they may also forget what behavior is appropriate before, during, and after a sporting event.

Kids who have coaches who care only about being in first place and say that anything goes as long as they win, pick up the message that it's OK to be ruthless on the field. If parents constantly pressure them to play better or second-guess their every move, kids get the message that they're only as good as their last good play — and they'll try anything to make one.

Adults who emphasize good sportsmanship, however, see winning as just one of several goals they'd like their kids to achieve. They help young athletes take pride in their accomplishments and in their improving skills, so that the kids see themselves as winners, even if the scoreboard doesn't show the numbers going in their favor.

The best coaches — and parents — encourage their kids to play fair, to have fun, and to concentrate on helping the team while polishing their own skills.
Fostering Good Sportsmanship

Remember the saying "Actions speak louder than words"? That's especially true when it comes to teaching your kids the basics of good sportsmanship. Your behavior during practices and games will influence them more than any pep talk or lecture you give them.

Here are some suggestions on how to build sportsmanship in your kids:

    * Unless you're coaching your child's team, you need to remember that you're the parent. Shout words of encouragement, not directions, from the sidelines (there is a difference!).
    * If you are your kid's coach, don't expect too much out of your own child. Don't be harder on him or her than on anyone else on the team, but don't play favorites either.

    * After a competition, it's important not to dwell on who won or lost. Instead, try asking, "How did you feel you did during the game?" If your child feels weak at a particular skill, like throwing or catching, offer to work on it together before the next game.
    * Applaud good plays no matter who makes them.
    * Set a good example with your courteous behavior toward the parents of kids on the other team. Congratulate them when their kids win.
    * Remember that it's your kids, not you, who are playing. Don't push them into a sport because it's what you enjoyed. As kids get older, let them choose what sports they want to play and decide the level of commitment they want to make.
    * Keep your perspective. It's just a game. Even if the team loses every game of the season, it's unlikely to ruin your child's life or chances of success.
    * Look for examples of good sportsmanship in professional athletes and point them out to your kids. Talk about the bad examples, too, and why they upset you.
    * Finally, don't forget to have fun. Even if your child isn't the star, enjoy the game while you're thinking of all the benefits your child is gaining — new skills, new friends, and attitudes that can help all through life.

Reviewed by: Steve Sanders, PhD
Date reviewed: May 2005

Reuse and Recycle Tips

* Just buy one. Instead of many different types of products, use one for several purposes. Cleansers are a perfect example. There seems to be a different cleaner for every surface in your house: windows, countertops, bathtubs, floors, walls, doorknobs, and more. Why not buy one general-purpose cleaner you can use on most surfaces? You'll reduce the number of containers you throw away, save money by buying fewer products, minimize your exposure to all the different chemicals those products contain, and reduce the amount of time you spend shopping.

* Save paper. The Center for a New American Dream estimates that recycling 1 ton of paper saves 17 trees, 7,000 gallons of water, and 380 gallons of oil -- enough energy to heat the average home for six months. Buy recycled paper, and then recycle the paper you use. Print only final drafts of documents, and print on both sides to cut paper consumption in half. Find other ways to use less paper at biggreenpurse.com.
   
* Get a library card. Enjoy books, CDs, and DVDs from your local library. For years my community also maintained a tool library, making it easy to access a saw, lawn mower, weed and grass trimmer, and other expensive or unusual items without having to buy or maintain them.
   

Energy-Saving Home Ideas

The average household spends $1,900 on energy a year. You can reduce your annual bill by 10 to 50 percent by making these simple improvements.

   1. Caulk or weather-strip windows and doors. According to the Department of Energy, if every gas-heated home were properly caulked and weather-stripped, we'd save enough natural gas each year to heat almost 4 million more homes -- and energy-cost savings could be more than 10 percent. Two sources of weather stripping online are M-D Building Products (mdteam.com) and Resource Conservation Technology (conservationtechnology.com). You can also find weather-stripping at most hardware stores. To minimize indoor air pollution from the weather stripping materials you use, try Quick Shield VOC-Free Sealant (geocelusa.com).
  
2. Get an energy audit. At low or no cost, your local utility may provide a specially trained auditor to examine your home and explain what inexpensive and free energy conservation actions you can take to save money and energy immediately. Or you can do it yourself using the Web site hes.lbl.gov, developed by the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory.
  

D.I.Y. Spa Treatment: Strawberry Exfoliator
*  Take out a mixing bowl and fill it with eight to ten ripe or over-ripe strawberries.
  
* Squash the strawberries until they become soft and mushy. Then combine two tablespoons of olive oil and one teaspoon of coarse salt until you have a paste.
   

• Next, massage the paste onto your body, focusing on any super-dry or dull looking skin areas. Rub well and then rinse off with warm water. Your skin will feel instantly softer, smoother and shinier!

BLUEBERRY TONER

Make this mask the day you plan to use it, and do not store.

3 tablespoons steamed, crushed blueberries
1/2 C. sour cream or plain yogurt

Purée ingredients in a blender at low speed until well mixed and fluffy. Apply to face and neck.  Let penetrate for 15-20 minutes. Rinse off with tepid water.  If you find the mask is too runny after blending, you should refrigerate for one hour or until of the consistency you desire.

Sibling Rivalry By Stacy DeBroff

We know parents have a huge impact on our personality development, but what about our brothers and sisters?

Statistics show we spend 33% of our time with our siblings, more than anyone else! Now studies show that the "birth order" of a child can determine personality traits, conversational skills, and educational achievements.

Avoiding Favoritism
* This is a highly charged issue. No parent wants to play favorites, but often feel drawn more to one child over another. For instance, you find yourself drawn to a child who is most successful, athletic, social or most like you.
   
* However, siblings are like hawks when it comes to clues of favoritism, and despair at any negative comparisons. Never intimate or confide in one child that she or he is more loved or more talented than her sibling.
   
* Remember that as parents we have endless capacity to love all our children uniquely.

Breaking Up Sibling Fighting: Will it Ever End?
 * My husband Ron, an only child, asked me when our kids Kyle and Brooks, then ages 13 and 12, would stop fighting with other, and I assured him things were going well and should be much better in a decade if all continues to go as planned!
   
* Children spend 33% of their free time with their siblings and all that proximity creates friction, and our parental, challenge is to take a neutral position in sibling feuds.
   
* Institute a "no-fault" policy in your house and escape the constant role of referee. Make it a family rule that as long as no one gets hurt, tattling is not allowed, and both kids go to their room, regardless of who started it. To put an end to your children fighting over toys, create "toy jail" on a high shelf.

Bringing Home a New Baby
Sibling Frustration as Attention is Diverted to a New Baby

* Welcoming a new sibling will challenge your child no matter what their level of maturity, and the baby will undoubtedly seem to at times to be an invading force.
   
* Expect behavior regressions, competition for your attention, pouting and acting out. Don't dismiss jealousy and anxiety. Empathize and set aside one on one time such as tuck-ins for extra affection and cuddling. Your child will most likely solve the issue herself once things settle down.
   
* Dad or your partner has the perfect opportunity to pick up the slack, and whisk siblings off for adventures outside the house, bringing them closer together.

Older Siblings Might Become Closer if they Feel Off on Their Own

Welcoming a Third Child

* Parents go from one-on-one to zone defense because there's no longer one parent for each child. This means someone is always doubling up!

Triangulation of Sibling Relationships
* 3 plus kids triangulate sibling relationships, with one child at any given point feeling like the odd man out from the chumminess of the other two. As allegiances switch give your attention to the excluded child of the moment: ice cream helps!

Birth Order
"Birth order" of children can determine personality traits and achievements. Parents tend to be much more easy-going, less anxious, and less demanding with second and third children.

Oldest Child
* High expectations and intense parental focus as everything is a "first" creates strivers and achievers among oldest children. Case in point: almost all of the U.S. Presidents were either the first-born child or the first-born son in their families AND all the first astronauts sent into space were first-borns.
   
* Even if you're not the first child, first son or daughter or five years separating sibling will bring out these first born traits: confidence, leadership, tenacity and determination, and seeking outside approval.

Middle Child
* Middle Child Syndrome is real for kids sandwiched between the attention lavished on the first born, and parental sentimentality attached to the family baby. Middle children need some extra parental attention to avoid feeling short-shifted and resentful.

Baby of the Family

Everyday Organization
By Stacy DeBroff

If you’re like most moms, you’re probably overwhelmed by the amount of “stuff” you have piling up in your house. By instituting some simple rules for both yourself and your family, you can get (and keep!) your home more organized.

 ~ Don’t wait for a big block of time to tackle clutter; it must be dealt
with daily, a little at a time. As a bonus, getting rid of more clutter
translates into less time spent in dusting and vacuuming.

~ Before you buy any household item, consider the time it will take to
maintain it, the space it will take up in your house, and where will you
store it.

~Make it a general policy to try to throw out one old thing for every new
purchase that enters your home.

~ Hire a babysitter to come in for two hours while you reorganize. You’ll
have a time limit, and since you’re paying someone, you’re likely to use the
time well.

~ Assign everything in your house a home, so that your family knows where to
find what they need, and more importantly, they know where to put it away.

~ It also dramatically cuts down on the clutter of items left out “for now”
or “until I find a place for it.”

~ It gets rid of junk drawers and saves hours of time across a year
searching for misplaced things.

~ If you have stairs, never go up or down them empty-handed. Always grab
stuff with you that belongs to upstairs rooms and quickly put it away.

~ Baskets work wonders – create them for incoming mail, bills, and
receipts.

~ Hang hooks by the door for your keys and purse.

~ Keep frequently used items in places where you can reach them without
stooping or struggling

~ Designate one place in your house for storing library books, and end a
house-wide hunt when it’s time to read or return them.

~ When you undress, take a minute to hang your clothes or put them in the
hamper. You add steps to the process if you leave them on a chair, your bed,
or the floor for later.

~ Put everything back where it belongs the moment you stop using it—whether
magazines to a basket or rack, bills and finances to your finance basket,
and wrapping paper and ribbons to your gift-wrapping center.

Talking about Stranger Danger
How to protect your child in an unfamiliar world.
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

How does your child react when approached by someone unfamiliar? Even preschoolers can learn what to do and what not to do when confronted by a stranger. Here are some tips:

* Avoid scare tactics: It can be upsetting for a child to feel she lives in a dangerous world filled with strangers who are out to do her harm. It's far more helpful for her to experience the world as basically a safe place. She just needs to know and follow a few simple rules.

* Talk about what's okay: Tell her, "When you're with Mom or Dad and someone you don't know says hello to you, it's nice to say hello back to them."

* Talk about what's not okay: You can tell your child that most people are nice and friendly and want to help each other. But there are a few bad people who want to harm others. One way you know them is if they ask you to go with them without telling your parents, your teacher, or your babysitter.

* Discuss strategies: "What can you do when a stranger tries to get you to come with him or her? What can you say? Can you ask for help?" Together, make a list of the ideas you come up with, like testing the stranger with a secret password, running away and yelling "Help!", asking a nearby grownup to help you, looking for a police officer, or going to the nearest store, etc. Then choose the ones your child is most comfortable with.

Safe at Home
Surefire strategies for household safety.
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

We like to think of home as a safe haven. But even the most childproof household contains potential dangers: toxic cleaning substances, electrical appliances, tools, and other materials not meant for small hands. Here are some ways to keep cool while keeping your child out of harm's way.

* Anticipate trouble: Rather than worry, warn, scold or threaten, it makes sense to keep knives, medicine, and cleaning agents out of reach; cover electrical outlets; cook on the back burners; remove heavy or breakable objects, etc. An ounce of prevention can reduce stress, ensure safety, and give parents peace of mind.

* Avoid scary scenarios: Instead of, "You're going to break your neck climbing on the counter!" substitute, "Counters are not for climbing. If you need to reach something up high, let me know and I'll get it for you."

* State what's not okay and what is: Children depend on their parents to teach them what behavior is appropriate and acceptable and what isn't. When your young child climbs from chair to table and stands there triumphantly you can say, as you remove him, "Tables are not for standing on! The floor is for standing on."

* Give information: Instead of an order ("Don't play with the hammer!"), acknowledge feelings and give information: "You really like to hammer nails. But this big hammer is a grownup tool, and a grownup needs to be with you when you use it."

* Offer a choice: Instead of an order ("Stop running with those scissors!") substitute a choice: "Running with scissors isn't safe. Do you want to sit and cut out pictures? Or should we put the scissors away and do something else?" Giving your child an alternative makes it easier for him to comply with home-safety rules.

* Keep it short: Many rules are best enforced with few words. Instead of a lengthy harangue ("How many times do I have to remind you kids that people can trip over shoes that are left on the stairs?"), try: "Kids! Your shoes!"

"Off We Go!"
Strategies for successful family road trips.
by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Driving with young children can drive parents crazy. Our eyes may be on the road, but our ears are tuned in to the sounds from the back seat: "He hit me!" "Did not!" "I'm thirsty!" "I'm hungry!" "I have to go to the bathroom!" "Are we there yet?" When the whole family is cooped up in the car for a long (or even short) period of time, tensions build, tempers flare, and safety can be compromised. Here are some tips to minimize the aggravation and maximize the pleasure of a family road trip:

* Plan ahead: "Kids, our trip to Grandma's will be long—maybe two hours. What should we take for snacks in case you're hungry—pretzels or raisins? What would you like to bring to make the ride more fun—a coloring book or a game? Which tapes should we bring?" Children who participate in planning their activities for the car ride are usually more cooperative during the trip.

* Anticipate arguments: "Kids, we'll be leaving soon. You need to put your heads together to decide who will sit by the window going and who will sit by the window coming home. You also need to decide whose tape gets played first." Anything that children work out in advance can keep them from getting "worked up" in the car.

* State your needs: When children are made aware of the driver's needs, they're more likely to understand how important their cooperation is. Mom or Dad can say, "I want us all to have a safe ride, so I need your help. Even if you're upset about something, no yelling, no hitting, no fighting, nothing that will take my mind off the road. If something really bothers you, you can tell me in a quiet voice and I'll do my best to help you."

#1 Do the unexpected: Instead of nagging or threatening ("I don't care how long we sit here! I'm not going anywhere until you put on your seatbelt!"), take a playful approach. One mother told her children, "Look—a note from our car! It says: I know you're in a hurry, and you want me to be quick; but I will not start my motor, till I hear each seatbelt click!" After they cooperated, she added, "You made the motor start! We're on our way!"

#2 Encourage family fun: After being confined in a car, most kids get fidgety. Singing songs, telling stories, playing guessing games, or taking a food break can make the miles go faster. Sometimes it helps to channel the children's energies into a game that requires careful attention to the passing scenery. "Let's look out the window and see how many red cars/white houses/cows/horses, etc. we can spot!"

#3 Take action: If the children act up in ways that make driving a hazard, you may be forced to use the strategy of last resort—pulling the car over. When you find a safe place to park, resist the urge to scold or lecture; it will only add to your stress. Instead, open a magazine and tell the kids, "Let me know when you're ready to go." Your silence, plus their impatience to get moving again, will be an incentive to improve behavior.